I am Jack's bored frustration.

So I am listening to Radiohead Kid A right now and letting the little piano sounds echo around my head as well as my room and I am wondering when everything got to be so bland. Like it's still here, and surrounding me, but nothing is causing me to turn slightly and crook an eyebrow in wonder. I question nothing, nor care to see what gears and pistons move and swing to create what is before me. I simply sit on the platform in front of the cogs and wheels and let them run over and over and get a headache at the repition. I am Jack's bored frustration. I just want to see some vibrant purple and gold fireworks EXPLODE across the sky of Unpleantville!!!! Where is the color. Where is the madness. Where are the orgasms and gaping wounds. Where is the ringing laughter of little children experiencing their first dirty joke. Where is the first drag of a cigarettte laden with the fear of being discovered by a very disgruntled parent coupled with the excitement of doing something you're not supposed to. And where is the unexpected lick of the neck by a handsome stranger who's eyes are glowing with the heated expectation of possibly getting you naked. Where is the purple? Where is the rich warm purple?
I need to get out of Bloomington-Normal. Stat.

Seeing CATS and other travesties

So, I have to spend good hard earned money to see a performance of CATS so I can get a damned dance review for my Tap class. This is tragic. I plan on going so drunk that I won't even remember anything. Or just going to Braden that night and picking up a ticket stub off the floor to put on a paper of LIES!! Delicious lies of me not spending money on some dumb show with goofy dancing pooftah's in cat suits. I would personally rather get drunk and ramble about shriptreesing for money. Yeah you heard me. Well I am off to paint the world red, or at least sit on a can of red paint smoking a cigarette and wondering why dumb broads wear headbands as skirts to class. HAVE A LITTLE MYSTERY! COVER YOURSELF UP!! And I'm spent.

Ha Ha ohhhhhhhhhhh

SO I went and hoed myself out last night with my tig o' bitties (which are REAL by the way!) a black and red satin corset, and my makeup and hair done to the nines. I was filming a movie with some dear friends of mine (NO not that kind of movie and NO not those kinds of friends :0) ) and I was supposed to be the "sexiest creature of the night" and I was.....and I was BOMBED! My favorite little mexican ever came to visit and as usual I got no sleep and was late for work the next morning. BUT IT WAS WORTH IT! I was obliterated. So I am tits to the wind, smashed out of my gourd, and having a ball of a time. I chugged beer all up in that sheeyat and then woke up for work this morning for work and heard laughing in my neighbors apartment, and found that all my boys were STILL awake. So I sat and chilled with them, and was half an hour late for work. They were freshly high...on life and Mike was genuinely confused the whole time, but no one was suprised. :0)What I will do without my Lovely Latino I have to idea. Well besides be on time and well rested for work.

If I dont see you, so help me....

I am at this party right now bitch and if I don't see you tonight its your ASS!! All night long.
P.S. The duke of Spain showed up at Foul Shots the other night, so I La la la la AGHHHHHHHHHed my ass outta there.

The thin red line

There is no one I want to see more and less than you. There is no one I love or hate more than you. There is no one I would like to wrap my arms around and smile saying "love you love you love you" more than you. There is also no one I would like to wrap my fingers around their throat and shake like a ragdoll more than you. I never knew what a fine line there was between love and hate before I knew you. No one can make me feel as good as you can, or as simply fucking horrible. At the same time, I certainly don't hate you and I don't really think I love you either. So maybe you are the fine line between void and nothingness. I think that describes you perfectly.

So, Richard Simmons, stop calling me.

Delicious

So I started today out by skipping my first class, contemplating skipping the second, but recognizing I would have to take the quiz that was in that class that I DIDN'T study for. So I went to my second class and left after I completed the quiz, and had a simply wonderful breakfast of pop-tarts, bagel and cream cheese, 2 bananas, 2 cartons of orange juice, 2 wee cans of V8, and an economy sized container of plain yogurt with strawberry stuff on top. I like to eat :-D I then popped back to the apartment where I promptly removed my uncomfortable articles of clothing and curled up with the book I am currently reading. I stayed that way for two hours, ignoring my final class for the day, took a quick cat nap, a wonderfully long shower (much to the chagrin of my other two roommates who had to shower, sorry guys!). Then as they say, the plot thickens. I decided this was much too good of a day to spend at work so I called them up and in an oscar winning voice similar to one who has contracted laryngitis, I sadly told them I would not be attending work that evening. They saw right through my plan and fired me. Ha! I wish. No, I was told I absolutely had to attend work this evening, at least for an hour. So from the hours of 10 until 11 I will, in my best oscar winning role ever of BIG FAT LIAR, be attending to the general pubic (yes pubic) of Illinois State Prostitutional. AND THEN my pretties, I will be off to the magical land of Foul Shots to eat drink and be merry with my favorite rogues and consorts. Ah twill be an evening of epic proportions. I suggest you all have a simply excellent evening, for I am in no mood to have otherwise, and will not tolerate it for others. Toodle pip!

Bits of Honesty

I know that if I tried my ass off, I could succeed at absolutely anything I attempted.
I am 30 times weaker than my outer appearance.
I love smiling more than just about anything in the world.
I fear the day I will have to choose between career and a family.
I slept with my childhood teddy bear Go-Go up until last year, and only stopped because he was falling apart.
I really do hate smoking.
God and I are good friends.
If I could do anything I wanted at this very second, I would up and move to San Francisco, and make only one phone call back here to say I was alive and safe.
I miss my Mama.
I think dirty jokes are as hilarious as they are disgusting.
I swear too much.
I think marriage is absolutely beautiful, but nearly impossible.
Sometimes I love my friends so much I cry because my physical body can't take how much love I feel for them.

Oh yes, and I have Gonnhasyphiherpatitis Q....was that too much information? :0)

Did I mention I am a smartass?

By the way

Mike Anaya is a big weenie and never NEVER visit www.artistanaya.blogspot.com
Oh no! Inadvertent shameless plug! Curses!

Initiative?

I was going to try and write a poem about deliberate touch and how completely amazing it is when you experience it. How your whole body electrifies when the loving deliberate touch of a fingertip runs across your cheek. It's so simple, but so wonderful. Anyway, I tried to write a poem about it, but I am too damned tired. Maybe tomorrow I will write about laziness and wasted potential. :0)

Midnight in London

Ghostly fog groans o'er the bog
And whispers to the night
Muggy weather soaks the leather
Boots I wear too tight
The stone appeals to these clicking heels
As I meander through the mist
An eerie glow peeks out to show
Where all the moonbeams kiss

Unknown words of things absurd
Lick at my inner ear
I slightly turn, my face tinged stern
My anxiety sliding towards fear
My footsteps quicken, my heart turns chicken
As I gracefully bolt through the haze
I try to stay calm, racing heart, sweaty palms
But my neuroses won't give way.

A skitter and skat, nervous pitter pat
Even the sewer rats know something's wrong
And then, sure as shit, in a flamboyant fit
Richard Simmons busts out in song.

Why do I always have that DREAM!?!?!?!