Wondrous

I woke up this morning completely suprised that I was not in the seventh level of hell. I say this only because of the amount of substances I embibed the night before. Christ almighty, I was in quite a state. We are all sitting in this gorgeous home and my drunk/stumbling/excessively loud self if fully convinced I am going to break something. And in between my rantings, ravings, and falling over things, I had Mr. Anaya there to brighten my spirits by being a little bitch and calling me out on my bullshit. I call him Captain Subtext of the Asshole Brigade. But I love him and the little brat knows it. This has been a really wonderful break. I got to come home and relax with my family, I got matching luggage from my grandmother for Christmas, I got to see some friends I haven't seen in ages, and my mother gave me her sewing machine for Christmas. It had been her mother's and she paid to have it fixed just for me. I almost cried it was so nice. But back I go to the grind tomorry. I am very excited to get back and get some things accomplished. My room being clean would certainly be nice. :0)

What the F?

Seriously, life is hella crazy. It turned a total 180 on me the instant I had made accomodations to the last flip flop. Now I am insane. My room is a mess, I am poor, I'm smiling all the time, and all of my winter coats are dead animals and its all I want it to be. I would say heaven on a june day, but seriously, cinnamon toast on a slightly rainy day in April, accompanied by a clown honestly makes more sense. I rule!

Makes sense to me.

Click. Picture. Only a photograph of a memory I never had. it seems as though the thought of what could be or what was or what could never be is better than the what is. what is is what is now and what i wonder is what was i thinking when i walked my weary weeping right smack into a wall. what i dont know is what if i would wander willingly blind into a waving beyond hopping hoping for a hint of happiness pending possible happiness preempted perturbation. Probably perturbation would prick the nerve in ninety nuances of my near and dear. i think about the what could i would if i could but the possibility won't present itself. so stagnant seeping weeping swillfull no longer willfull i drench in stench of laziness. But its not lazy, the haze and fog and smog of confusing no longer amusing games of dames and johns just hurts and only dirt seems to fly up in my eyes. So i sleep weep seep into the creamy steamy dream of what seems as though it could lean into reality. but if the real were to steal a feel back into my surreal, i would tell it to go fuck itself. cuz im done.

Anthony just scratched my back and loved my soul!

Oh my god that was amazing. OK so I am in the box office and DYING! My soul has been ripped out by the very roots by the ridiculous amount of crap that I have to do. It all has been chewing on my brain going "Hey remember us? You are a procrastinating whore." This semester needs to end. BUT I have the greatest outfit in the world for The Winter Ball this year, the theme being the Fantasy Realm. I took an interesting spin on the word fantasy and let's just say....I'm not going to be some pussy fairy. Riding crop? What? :0) SO the end of this semester marks wonderful things like THE END OF THIS SEMESTER! I find out tomorrow if I made the Showcase Auditions for the department, I will be in the ACTF competition opposite my favorite talking lasagna, and MY BABY IS COMING TO SEE ME!! All these people may think that he is coming to see them too, but it's only because they are on his way to seeing me. Sorry! Hey self absorbed hey! I am going to cry when this semester is over, I can't even tell you. The happiness that awaits me is going to be HUGE!
Gates Closed 00:00:03 and counting.