Fried Eggplant

So today I am shopping with a friend whom of which I will never be able to shop with again because I could not handle standing on my feet that long (as opposed to my head) trying to pay avid attention to something that really did not effect me that much. And I saw a father and son shopping for polo shirts (which i found funny). Well at one point they both turned around and they looked EXACTLY the same from behind. There was no way you could tell them apart. Same color hair, same elfin ears pointing out of the sides of their crewcuts. I literally laughed and did a little dance. I love shit like that.

Why potato?

In a conversation I had today, I was discussing the effects that a total self realization phenomena can have on one's life and it occurred to me that so many people when discussing the process of "finding themselves" are really so very serious about it. This is not to say it is not a serious matter, but I realized that it doesnt have to be. It could actually be fun! Seriously!! Why does delving into the farthest corners of YOURSELF, someone you are at least slightly familiar with and interested in, scare so many people. Yes finding yourself is very important, and some people won't even sneeze on the road towards it. But when talking about a friend who is in a "transitional" phase of their lives, instead of saying with a solemn look, "He's trying to find himself." F***ING CELEBRATE IT!!! WOO HOOO!!!! This person who I love and adore is about to sweep aside all the cobwebs and thrust open the closet doors in their psyche and find out what exactly makes them tick and why!!! And when they find something they like, YAYYYYYYYY!! And when they find something they don't, YAYYYYYYY now they know what to fix to make themselves happier and lead fuller lives!! Ok you're probably about to puke from all of this optimism, but I just think that when someone comes to a point in their life when they need to reevaluate their strategies and outlooks, it should be wonderful! Like "yay! im learning something new and discovering a new facet of my personality!"
Ok, I'm done, but when you come to a turning point in your life and you read this and you see what I mean, I'll say "Go you!" and if you don't agree with it, I'll say "Stop reading my blog you weenie! Go find yourself!!!" :0)

So very very fired.

I can't help it, but I love being an asshole to yuppies. I am a peon working for Corporate America (i.e. McDonald's crew member) and I simply cannot stop myself from showing these people how absolutely preposterous they are. They come up to me and complain about the temperature of a food item which I know is completely fine (definition of completely fine-I would eat it) and stare at me until I do something. First off, it is so cute the way the expect me to care. Not just in the I-Work-At-McDonald's-It's-My-Job-To-Care way, but in the GOOD-GOD-DROP-EVERYTHING-THE-YUPPIE'S-FRIES-ARE-COLD way. First off, I ask if the children are okay, and if they require McDonald's to pay for the therapy needed to reverse the effects of this horrific occurrence. Then I get indignant when the managers yell at me for calling the customers stupid f***ing a**holes, when I don't even do it to their faces. I am having an absolute blast at this, and I am very kind to the customers who smile and are kind and aren't sniveling little ingrown hairs on the sphincter of the economy, so I really feel I am doing  nothing wrong. I just have a feeling I won't be doing "nothing wrong" much longer. Oh well, one day they'll see me on T.V. and think, "Hey! I know that girl! She told me to eat a dick at a McDonald's once!"
Yes I did, Sir. Yes I did.