Treading Water Without a Cocktail

Kind of slipping a bit. Just over a month ago I got the best waiting gig I've ever had and within a week I have been written up twice. First off, I am more than able to own up to my mistakes, and do so with no problem, but this shit was due to the incompetence of the training staff and the sub-management. And for those who really know me, no I did not shoot off my big mouth, this really wasnt my fault. So essentially, now I look like a jackass to the people I do care about in upper-management, and that doesn't make me feel too good to know that they are questioning why they hired me. I've been instructed to treat this as "my opportunity to shine" which is all well and good. But as I already work my ass off and have been given shit by my co-workers for "working too hard" and I got written up anyway, I'm terrified some other crazy ass termite is going to wiggle out of the woodworks and get me fired. Because I've already got two strikes against me, and I'm scared the other shoe is going to drop. But I'm trying not to dwell. I really need this job, and the money is just sick. So send your good thoughts up for me, I'll hear em with my heart and be glad we are friends. I just feel like I haven't had 20 good minutes for a deep breath and a "Ok, what's next." If I'm not working, I'm sleeping generally. And I feel like I've bailed on my good friends of late because of this job. But I will get that deep breath, and as soon as I figure out what day it is, I will do my best to be a real person again. :0) Cheers.