Feeling Awful

I just realized that I inadvertently really hurt someone very dear to my heart. It's weird how you feel ten times worse when you hurt someone when you don't even realize you're doing it. You would think that when you're aware of it you would feel worse because you know what you are doing. Anyway, he feels like he is not part of my world, in a sense, and he feels left out, which makes me feel even more horrible because there are few feelings worse in this world than feeling like you don't belong. But that's the thing! He is my ENTIRE world down here! In between all the crap and stupid acquaintences you wish you could un-acquaint with, and petty bullshit of life, there is always some rock that holds you down, and he is that for me. I think maybe I am not trying as hard to be that for him, and I feel even worse to think I have let him down in some way. I have realized in the past couple of days that I, with others, have been taking advantage of him, and probably more me than anyone. I need to fix this and fast.